What did you miss? Four minutes of Madonna cooing over a weak techno beat (remix version unavailable anywhere else!) while she drives around with her grandmother in a variety of Cameros, causing havoc on the streets. Is this all about female equality? Are we supposed to be outraged that girls can go out and perform senseless, random acts of violence? I'm more saddened that girls would want to aspire to the same lunk-headed idiocy that seems to fill the heads of boys these days. The message here is that if you're the victim of abuse, the solution is to take your anger and frustration out on the world around you. That's real good. Perpetuate the cycle. We need more of that. How about shocking everyone by trying to change the paradigm?  -Mark Teppo.

Head, "Total Commitment" (7-inch EP). Head came out with another strong release of their blend of three chord crushers reminiscent of the Ramones fronted by "Metal" Mike Saunders from the Angry Samoans. What you get on "Total Commitment" (Evil Clown Records) is an interpretation of an Ann Margret song called "He's My Man." Head aptly headed-up "He's My Man" with Dave Holmes from the Fallouts/Wiretaps on electric sitar. It comes off as a mid-'80s Ramones song. Head slowly tease us with a new cut called "Pull the Plug," continuing in the jackhammer Ramones/Samoans splatter. The last song is the second installment of an instrumental Ramones doozy titled "Theme of Head, Part II." If you don't like the Ramones cross-dressing with the Samoans then this is not for you. Although they do not state what they are actually committed to, I wish that Head had a "Total Commitment" to releasing new material such as this.  -Steve Weatherholt.

ohGr, "Water" and "Pore." I'm writing this review just 5 days before the album Welt is due for release (on Spitfire Records). And I have to tell you, I've nearly bitten my tongue off with anticipation. I've heard two songs, "Water" and "Pore," and both represent a state of music that has been missing for some time. They also confirm something that that I've always suspected: behind the bloody mess of Skinny Puppy lies a very basic element--experience and knowledge of the finer points of pop and rock 'n' roll.

Justice would not be done without mentioning the utmost importance of Mark Walk's involvement. His production work is unparalleled. With a proper system, these songs sound like jet aircraft inside your head. And as you read this, the album is out. Run.  -Jeff Ashley.

Sonic Dolls, "Seeing Double" EP. Germany's Sonic Dolls latest four-song extended play--or digital download, as the case may be--comes across like so much of the rest of the glam punk that's been pouring out of Scandinavia these past few years. With amphetamine-fueled guitars and what I can only imagine are silly Billy Idol-like grins and cock posturing (the bio portion of their website is down, so I'm drawing on a bit o' imagination here...work with me, folks), Sonic Dolls refer to theirs as punk rock, but there must be a technical school for this somewhere, because to me it just sounds like rehashed school house rock. Eric J. President's vocals sound eerily like my toilet when it's backing up. This is not necessarily a bad thing, but on songs like "Thinking of You," when the band turns out some sharp backing melodies à la latter-day Hüsker Dü and look as if they're going to lift off from their glam punk rut, Eric J.'s limited delivery keeps things planted firmly on the ground. The music isn't entirely without merit, either. The sounds will get you pumping for a Friday night out on the town, but we've heard this before, or have studied it in text books. If you want some good Scandinavian glam punk, pick up The Backyard Babies. And if you want some recent history and better sounds, pick up some older Hellacopters or Gluecifer.  -Craig Young.

Chaos Zero, "Wild Boys" MP3. My stomach was churning long before I found myself logging onto Chaos Zero's website to hear their cover of Duran Duran's "Wild Boys." "Why, Craig?," I asked myself. "Why?" An Italian nu-metal band who describe themselves as "metal, crossover, hardcore, dark, rap, blues and funky" (funky?) covering Duran Duran. Both a musical genre and a has-been band I don't care much for, and here I am listening to the bastard product of the two. Could it be worse? Only if they referred to themselves as Limp Bizkit, Wet Noodle, Soggy Corn Flakes, or whatever Fred Durst has chosen to call what he has abused the music world with. It's too bad, because the other full-length songs available for download off Chaos Zero's site are far better. There's some strong hints of Soulfly on "Chaos Zero" even as vocalist Veleno slouches into a passable Layne Staley on the chorus. But it's the strong presence of bass that really make the tracks stand out and worth a listen. The hard-edged slap on "Chaos Zero" recalls the aggro industrial-metal sounds of Killing Floor, while on "Suicidal Growth" the bass opens things up sounding very much like the best parts of Tool. There's even a bit of Geezer Butler-sounding runs during the bridge of "Wild Boys." The production is tight and the minimalist sampling gives it all a nice sheen...but "Wild Boys"? C'mon, what about a cover of "Thriller"? Look what Hate Dept. did for Dead or Alive's "You Spin Me Round (Like a Record)."  -Craig Young.

Alas, that level of stardom is not probably in the cards for the J. J. Paradise Players Club mostly due to their name and it's overwhelming cheesiness. JJPPC plays stoner music with a dash of '70s AM radio muzak. Unfortunately for JJPPC, "stoner" means more than naming your band something only a stoner in Brooklyn could be convinced to name his band. There's a good amount of doom in these grooves, unfortunately it's from the tears of the buyer. If they decide to play Top 40 or dance music, I could connect 'em up to a nice cruise line. However, they'd have to pay for their own drinks. The amazing part is that the members of JJPPC actually have participated in some good bands prior to this oddly-named doom sleeper.  -Sabrina Haines.

Himinbjorg, "Third" (Red Stream). I love this release. Every second is worth your buckoroonie. Six tracks that are harbingers of a greater future for Himinbjorg are burning through Third. Himinbjorg has added more depth and tone to their epic, symphonic, pagan metal sound. It appears a new drummer was the catalyst for their ascension within the dark metal echelon. His superior sticks have elevated Himinbjorg beyond their past glories. I've relished many a day listening to In the Raven's Shadow, so the new direction is noticeable, but fresh. Third finds Himinbjorg slowing the pace a tad for four out of the five songs, but increasing texture and melody as they reduce speed. Rarely does this ever work. I am the über-hater of ballads, so this isn't that slow just at a loping Viking metal pace. I guess the upstart is that Himinbjorg have veered their course away from the mainstream (loosely) of the symphonic metal pack and created their own atmospheric hybrid. Lest ye think Himinbjorg can't be fast, just access track five, "The Moment," and let speed reign supreme. The press release states that it is slower than In the Raven's Shadow, but I don't see the vast speed difference. Raven's Shadow is a gorgeous opus that I thought was the band's high water mark--it had a lot of slower parts too. Third takes the next step and adds texture, depth and a renewed sense of exhilaration. It seems to me that the band has more vigor and energy on Third. It just sounds more self-assured and confident. You know: the Third time is the charm.  -Sabrina Haines.

BSI Records is really expanding their repertoire. In the last few months, we've had expansive, contemplative atmospheres (a Pan American 12-inch), a sonic journey through the dark hallways of a lost and possessed child (Raz Mesinai's The Unspeakable) and now they're throwing down a 12-inch of slippery sly hip-hop. Onry Ozzborn's Venom EP is four tracks (and a couple of instrumental versions exclusive to this vinyl release) of dusty grooves with Onry's distinctive rap sprawling across the top. With tight links to the Bay Area's Anticon and the Northwest's Oldominion crew, Onry is announcing his arrival in wild company. He's dropping a full album later this spring and it will definitely be worth taking out for a spin.  -Mark Teppo.

Good things come to those who can wait. Or, in this day and age of small print runs, those who don't mind enduring until demand calls for a re-press. Drone Records does up another batch of a couple of its 7-inchers and I finally get my hands on the Kallabris "81° N / 178° E" excursion. Included with the record is a tiny document detailing how it wasn't the Soviets who first reached the Arctic Pole of Inaccessibility or the USS Nautilus that first voyaged under the polar ice cap, it was the expedition of the Geographical Class of the Encyclopedical Department of the Archive for Pure and Applied Kallabristics.

Man, I'm a sucker for these sorts of things. That it comes with a recorded transcript of the sonic environment surrounding the submarine during its fateful journey is just a grand spanking bonus.

There's only two tracks here: the first, a sonar voyage under creaking ice, replete with whistling tones, the groaning rumble of thick ice passing overhead, and the echoed voices of the apprehensive submariners aboard the adventurous craft; on the flip, a calm, spacious landscape as the members of the expedition reach the Pole of Inaccessibility and cunningly devise a method of planting a flag. Their compasses rendered useless, the crew contemplates the icy nothingness of where they have landed. The track fades as the submarine starts pinging it way back through the uncharted ice towards mapped waters.

Frozen Empire Media are building their empire on a variation of the "first one's free" methodology. Their releases are rather limited so you've got to have your wits about you when release time rolls around (usually the first of the month). You don't have to have a lot in your wallet though, at four bucks a pop these discs are cheaper than, well, I don't know what else you can get for less than five bucks any more. What are you getting for your money? Some of the up-and-coming noise from the East Coast. The noise scene in the United States is starting to flourish and labels like Frozen Empire Media are making themselves heard rather ferociously. Idyl's Halcyon begins almost cinematically with "Belief (Repose)"--an overture with distant war drums and a chattering high hat over orchestral flourishes and a voice muttering over a radio hidden under the desk. "At the Waters Edge" and "Stringent" still contain these melodic elements, but the noise grows, pounding and hammering almost as if we are pushing our way against a raging storm. Halcyon is a blend of the dark atmospheres you'd find on Cold Meat Industries releases and the shuddering metal assault of Ant-Zen. Exclipsect's pulse.modulation starts with a similar dark drone but throws that all aside with the second track, "Syringe Signal Contour" as the noise and beats destroy your speakers and threaten grave damage to your skull if you had been so foolish as to be listening intently to the opening track on your headphones. And from there it's another fifteen minutes of sheer noise terror. Great if your head can handle that sort of thing. Me? I'm going back to Idyl's disc. A little atmosphere with my noise, thank you.  -Mark Teppo.

It's getting warmer out there and, to celebrate the fact that our surging energy crisis will mean that our fans and swamp coolers will be without power instead of our space heaters and electric blankets, it's time to pull out the warm tone records. Pub's "Summer" 12-inchers. One track spread across two records with remixes by Vladislav Delay and Arovane makes for nearly an hour of drifting down-tempo bliss while you open the windows and air out the musty winter rooms. Vertical Form put all of these tracks and an additional mix on a CD last year and it not might be available any longer. But we're all buying vinyl again anyway, aren't we? Got to maximize the warmth of the platters, got to get away from the sterile click of the binary decoders. Got to cover the sound of Tacoma's Finest chasing a fugitive across the campus of Stadium High School across the street from my apartment building. Okay, maybe it's not time to open the windows just yet. But I'm toasty inside.  -Mark Teppo.