It wouldn't be an issue of Earpollution without reporting on the happenings of our favorite loon, Ted Nugent. The "avid" hunter, outdoorsman, "Cat Scratch Fever" guitarist and all around loony tunes kinda guy has just released his own hunting video game, Wild Hunting Adventure, which pits the challenged hunter against such exotic big game such as buffalo, deer, bears, and maybe even your hunting companion if they ever come out with the multiple player version. "It brings tooth, fury and claw into the encounter, and if you don't conduct yourself correctly you get your ass chewed on and miss out on the hunting while you're in rehab," said Nugent. He further went on to defend his support of hunting against his critics. "I occasionally get complaints from maggot-infested hippies claiming I'm murdering Bambi, and I explain to them that Bambi is a fucking TV show. How the hell can I kill a TV character? Normally I just play the hippies a little Grateful Dead music and they wander off."

You go Ted!

Rumor has it that instead of accompanying the video game with the music of the Nuge, it instead will repeatedly play the theme to Deliverance as you blast your way through the backwoods, prize trophy in your sights and erection in your pants.

Diana Ross Arrested

Diana Ross was arrested last month in London's Heathrow Airport after an altercation with airport security. Apparently, the belt buckle she was wearing set off metal directors and following a routine search a female security officer reportedly touched Ross' breasts. Ross angrily returned the favor in kind and shouted, "How do you like it?" Officers followed Ross onto the plane, eventually arresting and escorting her from the plane after a heated verbal exchange. Ross was later released with a warning. Funny thing is, rumor has it she touched the breasts of Lil' Kim at the MTV Video Awards.

Eminem Gets Grounded

White rap wonderkid Eminem is being sued by his mom for $10 million dollars. The Em's mom claims that her son's unkind words regarding her in both the press and in his music has slandered her name. After filing the lawsuit, Debbie Mathers-Briggs then reportedly told Eminem he was grounded for a week and sent him off to his room without dinner.

Has anyone else besides me noticed that Eminem's name backwards is Meni Me?

Graham Nash Snaps Like a Twig

Graham Nash of Crosby, Stills and Nash fame broke both his legs last month while on his boat. Apparently Nash's boat hit a wave throwing him into the air. As he was landing another wave struck the boat and threw Nash down hard on the planks. After extensive surgery, both Nash and boat are reported to be doing fine.

I'm sorry, but how exactly does one get tossed so high in a boat that you come hard enough to snap both legs? That's bad luck there Mr. Nash, and a bit of a silly story to have to tell and retell. Personally, I would have said thugs broke my legs over secrets I wouldn't confess to. But hey, it's your call...

No Minors Allowed

On a much more serious note, yet another attempt to completely eradicate all ages clubs. The Oregon Liquor Control Commission is proposing amendments to current mixed-use liquor licenses that allow numerous Oregon clubs to put on all-ages shows and still serve alcohol to those of age in designated areas. If the mixed-use licenses are repealed many of the clubs will probably become solely 21 and over venues as their primary source of revenue is money from liquor sales. Another potential problem is that several of the larger venues may close in time as they discover that they can't fill their venues to capacity without the mixed patronage of minors and adults.

This is another example of punishing all sides of the music community for no compelling reason. Both sides of the 21 age mark have co-existed under the mixed-use permit with little or any problems or complaints. McMenamins' Pubs has posted information regarding this action on a web page. Click here to read more about the situation and what you can do to stop it.

Shoutouts!

Congratulations to Talvin Singh on winning the coveted Mercury Music Prize, now in its ninth year. The prize is awarded to a British or Irish artist/band whom a panel of judges, composed of journalists and music academics feel is the most worthy, with the artist taking home a check for £20,000.

Also, congratulations to Nels Cline for winning the L.A. Weekly Music Award for Best Uncategorizable Artist. Anyone who is familiar with Cline's music and guitar virtuosity knows that this is the highest of compliments. Congrats!

Open Letter to Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails

Dear Mr. Reznor: Over the past few days while laying out the current issue of eP I have been listening to Nine Inch Nails' latest release, The Fragile, courtesy of Earpollution's bosom buddies, Marky Mark Teppo and Jeffy Jeff Ashley. Mark hates it, Jeff loves it. In the November issue we'll be including a side-by-side review of your album with an email address so readers can write in and give us their own thumbs up/thumbs down opinion about The Fragile.

Me? I'm straddling the fence. Five years is an awful long time between albums, especially with the plug 'n' play musical technology of today. Where ya been? Whatcha been doin'? Can't you figure out the difference between serial, parallel and USB ports? But seriously, I have to admit that I quite like the album's musical arrangements; like them a whole lot, I'll readily admit. I've really been losing myself in the depth and textures of its darker, quieter tracks. But there's just one problem: every time you sing it completely blows the moment for me. I mean, not here or there, but every damn time I hear your voice. I would have thought that with your five year hiatus you would have been out getting vocal lessons, learning how to change up and invigorate your singing style. It's rather predictable, you know. It painfully shows on this release. Anyway, so I was just wondering if you'd be so kind as to send me a copy of The Fragile sans the vocal tracks. It's much more preferable to listen to it this way. Thanks so much and kind regards! Your pals at Earpollution.

You Will Know Them By the Numbers "1" and "9"

Underneath the worn cover of October's issue of Earpollution we have for you inside Cool By Proxy 4 days on the front lines of Seattle's penultimate music and arts festival, Bumbershoot. In Profiles, Mark Teppo interviews Percy Howard and lets him do most of the talking! Your usual nutty assortment of Album Reviews and Live Reviews from your usual assortment of nuts. And something quite special this month: Jeff Ashley turns in his paintbrush and pen for a sleuth's cap and eyeglass to go hunting in search of the elusive MC 900 Ft. Jesus.

Live free or die!

Craig Young
Editor, Earpollution

by Jeff Ashley

MC MIA - MC 900ft Jesus

Surely you remember this from the '60s television show Batman: Mayor Gordon could just throw the Bat Signal up into the night sky to notify Bruce Wayne that his heroic alter-ego was needed. My hope is that this feature article can act as a Bat Signal of sorts.

An angel among us is missing. "Missing In Action" as classified by the military. MIA is a hopeful phrase; hopeful, because it implies that the person missing is alive and active, just misplaced. I'm using the phrase because I want to believe that the artist in question is out there. Somewhere. Producing.

The artist in question, the artist missing in this instance is one Mark Griffin, a.k.a. MC 900 Ft. Jesus. He is the focus of this call for action. What is he doing today? This very second. I want to know anything about him that anyone reading this might know.

It seems he has been "missing" since 1994; after the release of his third album, the amazing One Step Ahead of the Spider, MC 900 Ft. Jesus just dropped from the radar. And except for the single "If I Only Had a Brain" garnering minor radio play, we never heard another thing from him.

MC 900 Ft Jesus' tongue-in-cheek pseudonym (in the early '80s, right-wing Christian Fundamentalist Oral Roberts related his vision of a 900 Ft. Jesus) was just the beginning of Mark's foray into biting cultural observations. His sharp wit, infused with social commentary, coupled with an ability to weave a wicked tale lyrically gave us an intelligence seldom expressed in popular music.

His music is worked with the same hammer. MC 900 Ft. Jesus, sometimes with the help of DJ Zero, fused elements of Jazz, Hip-Hop and Industrial for a style so completely original, it is of utmost importance that (we) I find out something about him. He remains one of the true original creative spirits in music.

Mark Griffin, are you out there?

My searches for information, mostly on the web, have been fruitless. His first two releases, Hell With the Lid Off from 1989, and the '90s essential Welcome To My Dream from 1992 were both on Nettwerk Records. Nettwerk's website lists both releases but has no information regarding the artist or his whereabouts. His third album, One Step Ahead of the Spider from 1994, was released on American Recordings. And again, American's website has a spot listed for MC 900 Ft. Jesus, but the dedicated page has been taken down. The trail ends at a discouraging "proxy out" screen.

And so my web searches have all but failed for any current information except for this one small ray of light which I found listed on a discussion group. There are many people at this location wondering the same thing I am, and much discussion regarding how important MC 900 Ft. Jesus is to his fans. Buried among the banter is this message which purports be from the man himself: "I'm still alive, I swear! Sorry to sound like a flaky artist but I don't know when the next album is coming out because it's just not done yet. Stay tuned... -Mark G". I left a message inquiring...

I want so badly to believe that this is authentic. Regardless, it is not enough. Does MC 900 Ft. Jesus still belong to the American Recordings roster? I've e-mailed the label to no avail. I want information regarding anything. So I shine the spotlight up to the sky, à la Mayor Gordon: Mark Griffin, the people are in need.

If you have any information regarding this matter, any at all, please e-mail me: jeff@earpollution.com. I'll post all relevant updates. Thanks for your help.