Bertelsmann AG announced in late May its intentions to buy Myplay for a cool $30 million, adding the online music storage service to its already burgeoning trophy case, which includes, among others, CDNow. Formed two years ago, Myplay offers free digital "lockers" allowing users to upload digital music from one point and download and listen to it from another. But with over 6.5 million users, Myplay still has yet to turn a profit. Bertelsmann looks to further consolidate its hold on the business of online music distribution, and hopes its most recent acquisition and the technology behind it will allow users to access stored files via wireless devices such as cell phones. The new service will be called BeMusic.

Universal Buys MP3.com

Multi-media conglomerate Vivendi Universal, which owns Universal Music, the largest record label in the world, announced its own large Internet music acquisition recently. For a mere $372 million, Vivendi bought MP3.com. The rumor is that Vivendi hopes to use MP3.com to power its online music subscription service, Duet, created in cooperation with Sony Music. With over 150,000 big time and small time artists, MP3.com gets tossed inside the Vivendi war chest alongside Emusic, GetMusic, and FarmClub.com.

Tom Waits, Others Sue MP3.com

Claiming copyright infringement, Tom Waits, Heart's Ann and Nancy Wilson, and Randy Newman filed a $40 million lawsuit against MP3.com on May 8 in Los Angeles, alleging that MP3.com knowingly violated copyright law by allowing users to upload copies of the artists' songs onto MP3.com's MyMP3.com, which, similar to Myplay's service, allows users to upload songs off of CDs into MP3 format and then download them again from any computer with an Internet connection.

"More successful songwriters of this caliber need to stand up against copyright infringement in order to protect their own rights and discourage the theft of music written by lesser-known artists who cannot afford to protect their smaller catalogs of work," attorney Bruce Van Dalsem was quoted as saying.

The lawsuit focuses on specific compositions by the artists, including Newman's "I Love L.A.," and asks $150,000 per infringement, "the maximum statutory damages available under the Copyright Act."

Tom Waits Receives ASCAP Award

In happier Tom Waits news, the whiskey-soaked singer was awarded the Founders Award from ASCAP (the American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers), that was handed out at the Society's yearly black tie dinner. Waits remarked that while he loved the act of songwriting, he said his favorite job would be a dishwasher. "Nobody bothers you." In receiving the award, he joins other musical luminaries such as Bob Dylan and Stevie Wonder.

RIAA Creates Task Force

In line with a Federal Trade Commission report that wagged its finger at the music business for purposely marketing music to children that has been labeled as explicit, the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA) announced recently that it was joining with the National Association of Recording Merchandisers (NARM) to create the Parental Advisory task force, whose focus will be to ensure that those fun-loving parental advisory stickers are clearly and prominently displayed in print advertisements, that advisory notices are prominently displayed throughout an online purchase, and that online retailers provide a link to the Parental Advisory site.

"We take our responsibility to parents very seriously. We are committed to supporting the work of the joint talk force in ensuring that all aspects of the Parental Advisory program work well, particularly the newest guidelines which relate to the Internet," said NARM president Pam Horovitz.

Earpollution would like to join the Parental Advisory task force by urging online music retailers to include links to Un-American ("the cause that refreshes!") where kids and parents alike can order a lifetime's supply of "Keep Music Evil" bumper stickers, buttons, and t-shirts; and also urges offline retailers to make the aforementioned merchandise available for purchase inside their stores, and to include a supply of "Smoke Crack and Worship Satan" bumper stickers (our favorite sticker found on a car parked around the corner from our house).

Manson Responds to Conservative Protestors

In related morality policing, Marilyn Manson professed that he was "truly amazed" by the number of religious freaks protesting his upcoming appearance in Denver, Colorado, as part of the Ozzfest festival. Manson, who originally had decided not to play that particular show in deference to the 1999 Columbine shootings, whose killers professed to be fans of his music, instead changed his mind. As a result, a group of "concerned citizens" called Citizens for Peace and Respect have organized to protest Manson's appearance.

In an online post on his official website declaring he would balance his performance with "a wholesome Bible reading," Manson says: "I am truly amazed that after all this time, religious groups still need to attack entertainment and use these tragedies as a pitiful excuse for their own self-serving publicity. In response to their protests, I will provide a show where I balance my songs with a wholesome Bible reading. This way, fans will not only hear my so-called, 'violent' point of view, but we can also examine the virtues of wonderful 'Christian' stories of disease, murder, adultery, suicide and child sacrifice. Now that seems like 'entertainment' to me."

Yoko Pulls Lennon Painting

In a recent letter sent to U.K. artists Joanne Shaw, lawyers of Yoko Ono demanded that she refrain from selling paintings of John Lennon. The photo-realist paintings were supposed to be auctioned off to raise money for Dovedale County Infant School, where Lennon attended school as a child. Shaw's publicist Alan Black said, "They told us no one can sell a picture of John Lennon without Yoko Ono's permission." Shaw, who specializes in photo-realist paintings and whose subjects have included musicians, actors, and royalty, said she has created a second Lennon picture and intends to display both pieces at an exhibit sometime this summer. "If [Yoko et. al] wants to stop us, they will have to physically restrain us from bringing the painting into the building."

George Harrison has Cancer Relapse

In other former Beatles news, it was announced on May 3 that George Harrison recently had surgery at Rochester, Minnesota's Mayo Clinic to remove a malignant growth from one of his lungs. Harrison, 58, was diagnosed with throat cancer several years ago after a lump was discovered in his neck. Harrison fessed up that his heavy smoking addiction was the cause and at the time underwent several round of radiation treatment. "I gave up cigarettes many years ago, but had started again for awhile and then stopped in 1997."

Readers might recall that Harrison suffered a collapsed lung 1999 after an attacker broke into his home west of London and stabbed the former Beatle with a knife. If it wasn't for the fast thinking and swift clubbing of the thief by Harrison's wife, he probably wouldn't be here today. "I had a little throat cancer. I had a piece of my lung removed in 1997. And then I was almost murdered. But I seem to feel stronger. I don't smoke anymore. I'm a little more short of breath than I used to be, so I don't see myself on stage lasting a full 14 rounds."

In a statement released to the press regarding the recent surgery, Harrisons lawyers were quoted as saying: "Although All Things Must Pass Away, George has no plans right now and is still Living in the Material World, and wishes everyone all the very best, God Bless and not to worry."

Lou Reed Not Dead

To quote Mark Twain: "I'm afraid that the reports of my death have been greatly exaggerated."

In a vicious e-mail that was primped to look like an official Reuters news release, rumor circulated in early May that rock icon Lou Reed had succumb to an overdose of Demerol and died in the New York residence he shares with Laurie Anderson. "Lou Reed, 57, Succumbs to Addictions" read the headline. So inundated with concerned calls, faxes and e-mails, reads publicist Annie Ohayon released a statement, saying: "Contrary to false reports that have been circulating, musician Lou Reed is alive and well. Mr. Reed is currently in Amsterdam preparing for the opening of his latest project, POEtry [a performance art project that based on the writings of Edgar Allen Poe], for which he collaborated with Robert Wilson."

And there you have it...

Thieves are Scum (Dusty Strings remix)

During Seattle's Folklife Festival over Memorial Day weekend, thieves stole Alex Krynytzky and Ola Herasymenko-Oliynyk's treasured banduras, handcrafted Ukranian stringed instruments. "Their real value would not be recognized," said Krynytzky. "No one would know how to play these things. I'm afraid they may end up as decoration somewhere."

"I can just have another one. But not like this. This is unique," said Herasymenko-Oliynyk, who has played her banduras for the past 25 years while traveling the world. "It's made by my father and it's a very unique instrument, even for him."

If that weren't heartbreaking enough, Herasymenko-Oliynyk's father, who is considered the foremost craftsman of bandruas in the world, cannot even replace his daughter's instrument as he is slowly going blind.

A $1000 reward has been offered for the return of the instrument, with no questions asked. People with information, or soulless thieves whose shriveled and blackened hearts may be wracked with guilt, are urged to call (in the U.S.): 1-425-277-8315.

Composer Writes Death Symphony for McVeigh

"So when the last and dreadful hour
This crumbling Pageant shall devour,
The trumpet shall be heard on high,
The Dead shall live, the Living die,
And music shall untune the Sky."
--John Dryden, "A Song for St. Cecilia's Day"

Los Angeles composer David Woodard has created a 12-1/2 minute piece entitled "Ave Atque Vale" ("Onward Valiant Soldier") written especially as a prequiem (intended to be performed for a dying person) for Timothy McVeigh, who is sentenced to die for the 1995 bombing of the Alfred P. Murrah Federal Building that killed 168 men, women and children, and is recognized as the single-most worst act of terrorism on American soil.

Woodard, who finds McVeigh act a "horrible crime," also draws parallels between the life of McVeigh and the life of Jesus Christ. "[Both men were] 33 and nearly universally despised at the time of his execution."

Having written and performed several prequiems, Woodard earnestly admits that he wishes no disrespect to the families of those killed in the blast. "Everyone I have mentioned [this] to has tried to dissuade me, and told me it will be misinterpreted and will only bring me trouble." Still, he counters, "I think it is worth my efforts to do something on his behalf because he is such an unusual person. The way in which he has managed himself (after the bombing) is unfathomably mindful and composed and I feel he deserves some sort of tribute."

Quote of the Month

"I know there are some of you out there, the younger ones, who are not impressed by anything. You wanna be tough, you wanna be cool. I know where you're coming from. I wanted to be the same way when I was a teenager. You could have shown me the resurrected body of Jesus Christ in a leather jacket and I wouldn't have batted an eyelid for fear of looking impressed.

"Well, I just wanted to say something while I have all of your attentions. This kind of shit is a massive eye opener as to how fragile and finite life is. We all seem to spend so much fucking time worrying about work, and bills and money, and if our stupid hair cuts are cool enough, or we're too fat or thin, too spotty, and what does the future hold, and are we making the right decisions? Well, there is no re-run of your life, no second chance, no version 2.0. The free upgrade does not come with the initial purchase. You are living your life now. Any one of you could be dead before the end of this page. So I guess we all have to just realise how fragile life is and how beautiful human beings can be if they stop being so fucking ugly to each other and just to enjoy this crazy short life while we have it."

--J.S. Clayden, Pitchshifter.

-Craig Young
Editor, Earpollution